dane’s thing lately is resisting me. he is a good one but these past few days every time i mention that it’s time to go here or there he has a fit. he’s too busy having fun doing whatever he’s doing at the time to want to move on to the next thing. even if the next thing was petting a unicorn.
so we argue and i threaten and cajole and it’s exhausting.
and cassady is in the terrible twos which i never experienced with dane. three’s, yes. they were horrific.
so today i finally convince dane to get dressed (and that’s another 4 hours of ordering him around) and we head to the waterfront park where he has a really glorious time riding bikes and making friends.
i also reluctantly brought our dog who i don’t like taking anywhere because she’s a terrible listener and i have two things to look after already.
after a good while of playing, there are suddenly snacks and juice boxes everywhere and i, of course, did not bring anything. BECAUSE dane pleaded with me to go to the park first and the grocery store later. i should have remembered that kids are dumb and i should have done the reverse order. i am the grownup after all. but i was so tired of fighting battles that i gave in.
so cassady catches wind of all this food and drink and starts sobbing for any and all of it. so i convince dane to go to the restaurant which of course he resists. finally, he caves whining all the way and cassady crying because of the lack of juice in his face and ally the dog pulling me all over the place.
we eat. they cry. they cry because cassady has a car that dane snatched out of his hand. dane cries because he can’t figure out the transformer toy they have. (it’s more than meets the eye, dane). he cries because of too much peanut butter. it’s time to go because we are being rushed out of there. the waitress places the bill on the table while i’m still eating and says, “i’m putting this here because we are about to blow up”.
cassady cries because he wants to take the matchbox car home. i leave the restaurant without him. i don’t care how it looks. i know he’ll follow. he does. crying all the way. ally is pulling me so hard that i let her off the leash where she runs straight to a picnic in the park and destroys that mother effer. i am screaming at her, screaming at dane to go and GET HER PUSH HER. i am like a cartoon character running in circles from my toddler in the middle of the street frozen with tears to my fucking thieving dog.
i wrestle everyone and everything into the car, most likely bruising cassady trying to get him into is carseat.
it’s only noon.
this morning dane woke up and told jake, “i slept in this morning because i had a really rough day yesterday. i was crying SO much and had SO many tears.”
usually my kid dane is pretty reasonable and good. but today found him melting down like a candle over every little thing. he couldn’t find his two cars, king and jeff corvette, so instead of really looking he just melted. there he went. puddle of tears. he melted because gigi didn’t want to play with him because who wants to play with someone that crumples to the ground every 10 minutes over plastic toys?
this ridiculousness continued for hours. i think i have patience but if there’s one thing i can’t stand is the whining. the very sound of it makes me very yelly and reactionary.
it was time to wash the eighteen layers of filth and grime off of them in the tub. cassady was in the tub and i was in the shower and dane was “looking” for his goggles. whining for them. i told him to get in the tub and i would be finished in a second and i would go look for them.
but all he heard was “get in the tub”. he didn’t want to understand what i was saying. he screamed and cried and the crazier he got, the louder and more impatient i got and i threw him in the tub declaring that i would NOT in fact look for his goggles because he was being such an asshat.
he thrashed and screamed “GOGGLES! I WANT MY GOGGLES!!!!!” over and over so much so that i had to rescue cassady from the ocean of waves he was creating. he threw shit everywhere, breaking toys and dumping loads of water on the floor which really pissed me off. i dragged him out of the tub and told him to go to his room where i locked the door and he had a spectacular freakout because it was TOO DARK AND SCARY IN HERE! PLEASE GET ME OUT! (it’s 7 o’clock in the springtime, bright as day) MY HAIR’S WET! I NEED TO DRY OFF! GOGGLES!!!!!”
dear cassady was just standing next to me the whole time searching my face for my reaction so i composed myself and went in to his room and sat on his bed, where he crawled into my arms and sobbed and shook and hyperventilated until i shushed him like a baby into normal breathing.
i moved him off my lap eventually and he looked into my face and said, “i’m really sorry. mommy” and i said, “me too, dane. i’m sorry. you had a really hard day with lots of tears and frustration.”
he was still crying a lot but we were able to talk about it through his tears. i felt exhausted by the time i finally put him to bed. but i feel good that he was able to finally communicate with me.
Anonymous asked: Hi Molly, I read your tumblr all the time and it makes me laugh and then feel better about my sloppy parenting. It always makes me happy to see an update from you in my inbox. Especially the recent one about playing with your kids. WORD SISTER. Please keep it up! Congrats on your impending birth of #3. You are amazing. xoxoxo, Christy (you know...a friend in New York and more importantly... Max Abruzzi's mom!) :-)
What the hell!! I JUST now saw this. I suck. Big time. But likewise to you, I always enjoy seeing pictures of your family and your witty updates. I swear we have to have a play date when I get back to NYC which will be in September…I hope!!
we went to our elementary school’s lasagna fundraiser this evening where cassady got to do his favorite thing which is EAT. dane got to see where he will be going next year.
i kept saying “see? this is where you’ll be eating and see? this is where you’ll be playing…” and on and on i went until he got annoyed and asked me why i keep saying the same things over and over.
doesn’t he know me by now?
yesterday was filled with sunshine and temperatures in the 70’s. it seemed like all of our awesome town was out and about. i dug around pulling weeds the whole morning, which at almost 7 months pregnant is no easy task.
then i showered and took my chins for a swing.
dane was practicing writing his name at one of our favorite restaurants.
mac and cheese of course.
dane’s doing his best deniro here as danny was pretending to swipe a toy from him.
we said a sad goodbye to daddy this morning as he embarked on a business trip for the next week. the good news is, it’s time to binge watch all my bad tv.